My List about Me

In the past I have written lists like “The Ten Things I Wish Everyone Knew About Bipolar.” The problem is, there is a HUGE spectrum of Bipolar and it does not all apply to me. So, I have a new list.

Things I wish everyone knew about MY bipolar.

First and most important, no matter how much reading you do about Bipolar (including this blog) you will never get to know me. If you want to know what I am like you have to spend time with me. Bipolar is something I have, not something I am. Just like someone with diabetes. You can read a lot about eating habits, medications, and statistics, but you will never know that person until you spend time with them.

Second, bipolar is not a scary, mysterious thing. What if I told you I had depression? Which, incidentally, is called unipolar depression. Would that be a scary thing for you? No. Why? Because depression is portrayed as sad and lonely while bipolar is portrayed as out of control. Bipolar does not mean difficult, scary, obstinate, argumentative, etc. This leads to my third point.

Third, there is a huge spectrum of bipolar. It ranges from people who can’t get out of bed or can’t hold a job, to those who think they can fly and send money with no consequences.  These things don’t describe me. They are extreme. Despite battling this illness for over 25 years without knowing what it was, I earned a master degree in mechanical engineering, a master degree in business administration, I hold down a good paying job in a stressful environment and I have never had a problem living within my means.

Fourth, while living with undiagnosed bipolar for 25 years I was a good person. I’m an even better person now. Why? Because I was diagnoses 4 years ago I have medications, I have a doctor, I have a plan, and, most importantly, I have knowledge.

Fifth, bipolar is just a limit I work with. Guess what, I am also only 5’ 7” and I have to remember I can’t reach the top shelf in the kitchen either. Limits are only scary if you don’t know what they are. The important thing is, I recognize my limits and I act accordingly.

Look, if I could sum things up it would be this. Bipolar is not scary. It’s just something I have learned to live with. I didn’t say put up with. I said live with. This is an important distinction. I don’t drudge through life in depression, elation, agony or pain. I live a pretty normal life just like all of you.  And I am very blessed.